Leaving Boston

I’m trying to sleep on a yoga mat on the hardwood floor of my empty apartment. The space is so bare, I can almost hear my breath echo. In the past two weeks, I’ve sold off all my furniture, donated and trashed several bags of belongings, and shipped the rest to California. There it is—…

On Regressing in Lockdown

Every time someone I’m talking to brings up the coronavirus or the administration’s response to it, my throat tightens. I’m not sure why this happens— I think it’s because I have so many frustrating feelings about the whole thing, and yet it feels absolutely pointless to me to lay them all out, because rehashing the…

clouds at sunrise

Trying to Feel Okay About Growing Up

I have lived my life for the past eighteen years according to the familiar rhythm of the school year. Semesters and midterms and breaks formed my notion of time, and I was always working toward something specific, be it a diploma, certification, or award. My academic life has shaped my perception not only of the…

Kuala Lumpur & Penang, Malaysia

It’s been nearly fourteen years since I was last in both Kuala Lumpur and Penang, and I clearly remember writing in my journal that I was headed for Malaysia, Australia. Having relatives in both countries made my six year old self steadfastly believe that Malaysia just happened to be a part of Australia. Older now,…

How To Leave Singapore

The time has passed so quickly yet not at all. That’s how semesters go, as birds soaring past the sun, as feathers dragging in the wind. You have flinched during thunderstorms, studied for essays, sweated gallons from your upper lip alone. Intimidated, you still haven’t tried to use any clause-final discourse particles— you’d feel silly,…